An unexpected pregnancy can also bring unexpected emotions: excitement, confusion, hopefulness, and even embarrassment and shame. Some women feel the impulse to try to hide the pregnancy by getting an early abortion, hoping it will be the equivalent of brushing it under the proverbial rug.
This impulse brings with it important questions to consider, like “How will I feel after the abortion?” and “Do I have to tell my partner about the abortion first?”
These are big questions you likely haven’t thought about before experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, and trying to consider the answers to these questions with heightened emotions can be difficult. We can help. Contact us to discuss your situation, explore your options, and learn how to navigate potential conversations with your partner.
To Tell or Not to Tell: Counting the Relational Cost
For all the reasons we mentioned above, deciding whether to share pregnancy news with a partner can feel complicated. You’re not required to disclose it, but relationships are often shaped by how openly both people communicate with each other.
Start by asking yourself how much this relationship matters to you. If it’s casual or short-term, you may feel less obligation to discuss it. However, if you’re in a committed partnership, withholding something this significant could erode trust and compromise the relationship’s potential to last in the long run.
Also consider how his response might influence your decision. Some women assume their partner won’t be supportive, but that’s not always the case. If he were willing to stand beside you, provide practical help, or even talk through all the options with you, would that shift how you see the situation?
Take some time to think through the implications of abortion on your relationship and how you feel about the pregnancy before making your decision to get an abortion.
Safety First: Potential Partner Violence
Unfortunately, intimate partner violence is a genuine concern for many women. If the reason you’re considering keeping the pregnancy to yourself is fear of your partner’s reaction, your safety must come first. Abuse can be emotional, verbal, or physical, and it often escalates during times of stress.
If you believe sharing this information could put you at risk, reach out for help. Talk with someone you trust, and if you ever feel unsafe, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or dial 911 in an emergency.
Support is Closer Than You Think
An often-overlooked first step before deciding to get an abortion is confirming you’re actually pregnant. We provide free pregnancy tests, on-site ultrasound referrals, and accurate information so you can make decisions that take into consideration your unique situation and all your options. At Calaveras Pregnancy Center, you can find confidential services and a caring environment to explore your options.
Don’t let your surprise about an unexpected pregnancy dictate a decision that will impact your life in long-lasting ways. Schedule a no-cost appointment today and connect with a team ready to support you.
Calaveras Pregnancy Center does not provide or refer for abortions.